- A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest breasts?
- The blonde, because she's 18.
***
Two blondes are walking down the street when the first blonde finds a compact on the sidewalk. She opens it up and inside the compact is a mirror. She looks into the mirror, then looks away. She looks into the mirror a second time. Confused she says to the second blonde, "I'm not sure, but I think this person in the compact looks very familiar".
Curiously the second blonde asked to see the compact. She looks into the compact and hands it back to the first blonde and says, "It's me you dumb shit!"
***
A blonde woman walks into a store. Curious about a shiny object, she asks, "What is that?"
The store clerk responds, "It's a thermos."
The blond then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk says "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." So she buys one.
The next day, she brings it to work with her. Her boss, also a blonde, asks, "What is that shiny object?"
She replies "It's a thermos."
He asks, "What does it do?"
She says, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
He then asks, "What do you have in there?"
"Two cups of coffee and a Popsicle."
***
A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300 she exclaimed, "I don't have that kind of money!! But I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!"
The man arched an eyebrow. "Anything?"
"Yes, anything" the blonde promised.
With that, the man said, "Follow me"
He walked into the next room and ordered, "Come in and close the door"
She did.
He then said, "Get on your knees"
She did.
Then he said, "Take down my zipper"
She did.
He said, "Go ahead...take it out"
She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands.
The man closed his yes and whispered, "Well....go ahead!"
The blonde slowly brought her lips closer, and while holding it close to her lips she said loudly "HELLO.....MOM???"
***
A young blonde comes home from school and asked her mother,
"Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out
of the same place where boys put their thingies?"
"Yes, dear," replied her mother, pleased that the subject
had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it.
"But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?"
***
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn't!
So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt.
So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step.
About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus. Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero screeching at him "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!"
At this the Texan drawled "Well ma'am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."
- The blonde, because she's 18.
***
Two blondes are walking down the street when the first blonde finds a compact on the sidewalk. She opens it up and inside the compact is a mirror. She looks into the mirror, then looks away. She looks into the mirror a second time. Confused she says to the second blonde, "I'm not sure, but I think this person in the compact looks very familiar".
Curiously the second blonde asked to see the compact. She looks into the compact and hands it back to the first blonde and says, "It's me you dumb shit!"
***
A blonde woman walks into a store. Curious about a shiny object, she asks, "What is that?"
The store clerk responds, "It's a thermos."
The blond then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk says "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." So she buys one.
The next day, she brings it to work with her. Her boss, also a blonde, asks, "What is that shiny object?"
She replies "It's a thermos."
He asks, "What does it do?"
She says, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
He then asks, "What do you have in there?"
"Two cups of coffee and a Popsicle."
***
A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300 she exclaimed, "I don't have that kind of money!! But I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!"
The man arched an eyebrow. "Anything?"
"Yes, anything" the blonde promised.
With that, the man said, "Follow me"
He walked into the next room and ordered, "Come in and close the door"
She did.
He then said, "Get on your knees"
She did.
Then he said, "Take down my zipper"
She did.
He said, "Go ahead...take it out"
She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands.
The man closed his yes and whispered, "Well....go ahead!"
The blonde slowly brought her lips closer, and while holding it close to her lips she said loudly "HELLO.....MOM???"
***
A young blonde comes home from school and asked her mother,
"Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out
of the same place where boys put their thingies?"
"Yes, dear," replied her mother, pleased that the subject
had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it.
"But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?"
***
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn't!
So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt.
So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step.
About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus. Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero screeching at him "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!"
At this the Texan drawled "Well ma'am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."
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30.07.2010 в 15:24-
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01.08.2010 в 06:31Me too.
I just found some of them amongst my e-docs and decided to post them :-)
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01.08.2010 в 21:26